I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I am mentally ready for anal.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
