He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
