My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
you never un-have a 4some
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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