I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
