wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
