There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize