I love black thongs
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
