I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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