I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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