I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize