I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
