what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
