i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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