it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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