The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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