I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
