I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
