you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It's just like the Real World with babies
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
