My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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