we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm experimenting with sincerity
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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