I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
