And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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