a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
