My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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