It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Alive.
So much puke
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
