I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
