So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
