im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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