hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
