And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
