sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
