so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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