Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dignity is for republicans.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
