Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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