first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
