Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
