Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
