Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
