need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize