he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
