Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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