Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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