I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
