Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
