dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
This is my gift to your gina
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
