Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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