So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
