Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I intend to get homeless drunk
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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