I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
