I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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