He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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