I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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