D3 body, D1 cock
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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