yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
