the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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