Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
