your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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