I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
